Begin with The End in Mind
Have an ultimate scenario of where you’re trying to be. What will life be like when you get there? How will it be better than where you are now? Dwell on that picture and write it out, fill up at least a page about how it feels in the new place. This is imperative.
Having the goal in front of you at all times energizes you to achieve it, in spite of setbacks and frustrations. Emotions may run high and you will need an anchor. In childbirth, the Lamaze method teaches you to focus on one spot when enduring labor pains. In the same way, you too must focus on that future goal when anxiety threatens to get the better of you.
In your monetary calculations, overestimate by at least a thousand dollars. In this market, anything can happen between contract acceptance and the close of escrow. Inspections may reveal areas of concern that the seller is unwilling to fix or repair costs that are higher than the amount limited in the contract. Interest rates may change, affecting the necessary down payment and closing costs you will need to come up with.
Remember – there is no perfect world. Most buyers feel a bit overwhelmed when taking on a new mortgage and the responsibilities of a new home and many buyers get angry when it seems like the cost just keeps going up. Anger is caused when reality doesn’t match up with the expectations you had in your mind. So if you anticipate this happening in advance, you won’t get angry. In fact, it’ll probably go better than you expected.
Trust in The Process
There’s just so much to do, it’s easy to panic. You might wonder if it will ever work out. You may think you’re taking a big chance, and you are, but the truth is you’re also giving yourself a big chance. Even though you might not be able to see every step of the way clearly, as you move towards your goals, the way opens up. If you haven’t moved in a long time, expect it to be a major upheaval in your life. Trust that a good realtor can help to get you there.
One thing you’ll probably feel during this transition time is being out of control. It feels like everyone else has taken over your life. The seller, your lender, the appraiser, the inspectors, they all have the power to say yes or no to your moving plans.
Make sure your realtor lets you know ahead of time what to expect: describing the process in detail, including what your expenses will be, and what the unknowns are.
What Is The Alternative?
When things don’t go as smoothly as you had hoped, don’t let emotions take over. Always ask yourself “What is the alternative?”
Let’s pretend the lender takes longer than agreed upon to get your loan. He keeps asking you for more and more documentation until it feels like he also needs to know how many gold fillings you have in your mouth! You might get upset because you wanted to feel certain about the move and now you still have to live with the uncertainty. You want to say “Forget it, I’m fed up with this!”
But what is the alternative? You could always find a new lender and start the process over again, and in some situations that may be the best thing for you to do, but bear in mind that starting over could take weeks, plus you will have to provide the paperwork all over again. If the lender is trying his best, it might be better to give him a few more days. Each case is unique, but when setbacks occur, asking yourself this question can help to defuse the situation and restore clear-headed thinking.
When there’s nothing you can do about the situation, take your mind off of it altogether. Maybe you expected loan approval on Friday, but find out it won’t come until Monday. You hate being in limbo and feeling powerless. So do something else entirely, maybe something where you AREN’T powerless. Take a hike, play tennis, get out of town for the day. Watch a movie, pray, or pour yourself into your work. Whatever diversion works best for you, engage in it. Just forget the situation and refuse to listen to those irritating thoughts when they come into your head. Think about something else instead and just take it one day at a time.